How to Stop Judging - Conversation About Judgement And How To Stop It In Its Tracks
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Hello everyone, this is Elke and Monika and I are back for another conversation. This time we are talking about judgement. Hi Monika, how are you doing?
Hi Elke - I'm very fine, nice to hear you again. Elke, I started to listen to your recording about judging about two weeks ago and I noticed that I get aware every time when I'm judging now. And it's terrible, because I'm always judging: I'm judging situations, I'm judging myself, I'm judging the past and I don't know what to do about it. [both are laughing]
Isn't that fun? [laughing]
See, that's really awesome, you made a great step forward, because most people aren't even aware that they are judging all the time. So, since we are little, the [quote] 'most important thing' we learn is to judge and be judged and we are not aware of it. So it's great that you now are becoming aware of it and then you can change it.
So... actually, what are you doing about it?
Oh, I'm thinking: No... no judging! [laughter] But it seems to me a bit like a battle, like a battle against myself.
So you start judging the judgement, that's even more funny. [laughs] Well see, of course, then you think: oh my god, what's wrong with me, what can I do?
Oh, yes, I think: No, I'm not a good person! [laughter]
I'm such a bad person! Oh goodness...[laughing] Okay, what about if we just cancel it out and say: okay, that's how I judge it, but what about I go into this, totally neutral and explore it, what about that…?
Yes, that's seems to be the better way….
Exactly. But when you start to judge the judgement, than we get somewhere we don't want to get, right?
The thing is: You realize - and that what the video [about judgement] does - it helps you to see when you start judging - judging others, judging yourself. We judge ourselves in so many ways, without even realizing it.
And then you can even start asking yourself: Why am I doing, what I'm doing, when I'm doing it? Just to see where it is coming from. Because this is not [the real] you doing it, but it is something you have been taught, your parents have told you or your teachers or whatever and you're just try to fit in a box. Right?
And, additionally, you try to fit others into a box, so you can be comfortable and basically your mind knows how to handle them. So... god forbid! What would be if they don't fit into a box and then you would just connect with them from the heart and have fun with the other?
So that would be 'aaawful'... Really, that's the goal, to not judge anything or anyone, just go in and explore, really explore: who they are, the situations: just take it for what it is and who they are and than have fun with it!
It's really not that hard...
Yes the first step would be to have fun with the judgement itself, to have fun to see, how many times we are judging. I think, one problem is, that we are always thinking that we have to be perfect, so now, when I think: I have been judging all my life. I'm 47 years old now, and I judged for about 40 years...
I would say longer.
Or longer... Yes, and to totally let go of it within two weeks would be a bit too much I think…
It is a process, but the first step is to become aware of it and then really, when you see that you are judging, than just acknowledge it and say... Okay, I don't want to judge this I want to see it for what it is and explore it. And then you are getting out of the cycle of judging and rejudging and putting yourself into a box and you start exploring what really is. And then others feel how open you are and they begin to open up to you.
Would you say, it is possible to live without judgement within our society? I ask that because I see that I'm most judgemental when I'm speaking with other people, when they say... Oh look at this man or woman, how they behave and how they wear clothes and I say yes, your're right or your're wrong and I think this and that… to get out of this would be he hardest thing…
Why is it right and why is it wrong? That person [that is being judged] has been conditioned has been taught things… your behavior is normally not who you are. It's just: everyone wants to be loved and everyone, basically, their behaviors are an expression to get that love.
Sometimes it doesn't look like that, but see just whatever what they wear, whatever they say, just accept it and then explore and try to get behind their behaviors. Because there is always that spark of the divine in everyone and to find that and connect with that: and just connect to them from a place where they are, so they feel your love and they can start to open up and ….
Well it's a process as well but we are really going into a world of non-judgement. But everyone has to first be aware that they judge, most people don't even know that they judge.
And it is - I mean - what is wrong for you might be right for someone else. What it is for you to judge what is right for someone else. Or wrong... for that matter. Right? Because I might enjoy what you find terrible and the other way around and if someone has an experience that is perceivably bad... they have chosen it for a reason.
I mean when they come to you for a help, then of course [you assist them].
It is for them to wake up. They have to really wake up on their own you can't make anybody wake up. They have to do it themselves. And you had to get aware that you are judging. I can't make you aware that you are judging. I can tell you or I can talk to you about it for two weeks, you [most likely] wouldn't see it... You have to realize it yourself.
That's amazing, because I never thought that I'm judging so much, I thought about myself that I'm really a non-judgemental person. But it doesn't matter like you say...
See, that is not you, that is what you have been taught and your parents told you how it has to look like and it's just, you are seeing it for what it is and you wave good bye to it. Because it's not you, it's not what you perceive. You now are starting to find out what you really see and what you enjoy.
And the videos, specifically this one [Releasing Judgement], is really to open you up, first to that realization that you are judging and where you are judging and then you can let it go and re-decide. And that what you are doing. So don't think - 'Oh my god, I'm judging, what a bad person I am' [laughter].
See for what it really is and let it go. You are not a bad person, nobody is, it's just thoughts and that's where we are moving out from. I mean it would be great, if it would be a process that today you are judging everything and tomorrow you're not judging anything and you totally come from your heart, but that's not how it works.
It's a process for everyone and we have to just unlearn what we have been taught for lifetimes even. So, and everyone is where they are for a reason and they are just where they need to be. So there is no right or wrong way to do anything, it's just moving from the mind into the heart and that's a big step to realize that you're judging when you are judging and then let it go. Because judging is a form of control. And that's what we are letting go of, too.
So you are doing a great job, Monika. There is nothing wrong about it and just keep going. So see, when you see it, than just give yourself the permission to explore what is really behind that person or that situation. And see them or it for what it really is and who they truly are.
And then, really, the magic happens, because you are connecting to those people and those situations are not quote 'bad' anymore, it just is what it is and you walk through it and the sooner you will be in a much better place. Just because you looked it in the eye and didn't run away from it. And didn't judge it... [laughter]
So the next thing I wanted to say is that I had a discussion about one aspect of judging is to protest against someone [or something], you have to protest now [referring to politics], for example against Mr. Donald for example or against I don't know, because you want to change the world into a better place and I don't know if there would be...
What would happen if we stopped to judge it and we also stop to get into this game of political saying and protesting and be 'for' something or 'against' something. We just stop all this and let it go?
Yes, that is a form of judgement as well. The only change you can make is in your immediate environment and when you don't judge you give others the permission to not judge, because when you are fighting against something, you give it power.
Then they drain your life force and that's exactly what they want. And when you start fear something and go 'Oh my god, they will destroy the Earth' and what not and then you fight more. It's the same with the fight against cancer. Instead of accepting it, going with it and see what you can do about it. You in your environment.
You start from where you are and [again] I'm using my videos as an example: I'm just posting those videos to assist others to make the transition [into the new paradigm] easier for others. I'm not here to save the world. The world doesn't need saving, but I'm just assisting others get to a place where the world will be better soon.
So.. think about what you can do, really you, what your heart is telling you, moving into your heart and then find out what you can do... by just loving others and not judging them. I mean Trump, he is just thinks he is doing his best, right, it's not a good example, because I don't want to go into politics.
The whole system is corrupt, but everyone really thinks they are doing the best for what they believe. So by fighting against it you submit yourself to it and so you give it power.
So you make yourself smaller. Just claim your power, stop judging and find out what you enjoy and what you can do... Just small steps to make this world a better place. So like I with my videos...
What could you do [in your specific situation]? And then watch everything around you change and those things that you don't quote 'like', they will either fall away or they will get better. What we see, all this chaos at the moment, this is just the old leaving and of course it wants to hold on.
Because that's what we are used to and we are all asked to get out of our comfort zones and into a space where we, as humans, have never been. And that is of course scary, right? But it's really the best thing that has ever happened to humanity. Start with small steps like being present, stopping to judge and really release all the density and find out who you really are.
And wanting to save the world… I mean, there are so many I personally know, they just want to find the ultimate cure or this solution... and than the world will change. That is not going to happen...
You have to change first, and than the world will change automatically, because then everyone around you sees you and than they have the permission to change as well, because they don't have to fit into their boxes any more.
Yes, actually... Humanity wants to change the world since 2000 years, since Jesus or probably longer, and it never worked. So... I also think it's a good time to find another way to change the world.
Change yourself and the most important thing: enjoy yourself and have fun with everything and then, I mean if the world if it truly would be happening, if the world was doomed, why not enjoy yourself, because its doomed anyway, right? So, I rather enjoy myself than living in constant fear.
But it's not gonna happen, we already are in a new paradigm and those who are hanging on to the old, they are very loud right now. But it is changing. Judgement has to go and a lot of other things have to go as well, because it's all mind based and we are moving into the heart.
And when everyone comes from the heart, than there is really no need for politicians or laws or anything because when you come from your heart you would never want to harm anyone or anything and you come from a place of total integrity, honorability and there is no way you could harm anyone.
Yes, that's true. I think that's really big, but it's really like that, I can feel it. It's true!
Of course! Well, just enjoy yourself and if you find yourself judging, then - well, laugh about it and say okay let's explore what's really behind it.
So you can't do anything wrong. You are the creator being that everyone of us is and really to explore your own beauty and your magnificence, that is what you are here. Have fun with it and enjoy it and connect with others from just a place of neutrality and watch really... literally everyone change around you, because they now... they feel your openness and non-judgement and then they will open up as well.
Okay, Monika, I think we covered the most around that and if you anyone has any questions, just let us know. Or if you want something covered in one of the next conversations, just let us know.
I wish everyone a beautiful and happy day with lots of fun and it was a real pleasure to talk to you, Monika.
Yes, for me also.
So we will talk to you again. Love you everyone. Bye...
Bye, bye... Ciao